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A Kentucky family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a rather large building; they were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby.
The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?" The father responded, "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!"
While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous 24-year-old woman stepped out.
The father turned to his son and said, " Son - go fetch your Maw."
A very nervous young man asked a judge to excuse him jury duty as his wife was about to conceive. "Young man," said the judge, peering over his spectacles, "I believe you must mean that she is about to give birth. However, whether you are right, or I am right, I agree that you should be there."
If at first you don't succeed ..... SKYDIVING IS NOT FOR YOU!!
Finally, a quiz for the festive season;
If man evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in 'lisp'?
If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Is a turtle without a shell homeless or just naked?
If a mime gets arrested, do they tell him he has the right to talk?
Why do they put Braille dots on the buttons of drive-through cashpoint machines?
Do they use sterilised needles for lethal injections?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns cos they taste funny?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
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