elcome to this, my latest apology for a website, updated on Sunday, the 26th of December 1999. You could be forgiven (but not by me) for asking why I have yet to achieve any semblance of quality but regular visitors will notice that I have finally dispensed with that ghastly textured background and also with the musical accompaniment to most of the pages. I have tried (in vain, many have said) to make the site (mildly) amusing and (occasionally) informative. Please feel free to contact me with any criticism you may have but please make it constructive (or, at least, amusing).